Baby Names?

Baby names have been a topic in the media recently. (Well, not the media per say, they've been a topic in the blog world.) It came to me that this topic, as well, is yet another topic that I find HILARIOUS about infertility.
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It made me realize that I've been an infertile for so long that my "names" have changed. You see, when hubs and I started planning our family back in 1200BC we had certain names picked out. Well now, we've found that some names are not popular anymore, (Gertrude for example, jk.) or that we have just grown to dislike the name over time.
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This naturally got me thinking about what happens when we do actually get pregnant, (maybe, if, hopefully, God willing) and we name our child. Could we possibly grow in a a few years to hate the name of our own kid? OR,...are baby names like wedding dresses? Once you pick one out, you stop looking. Hmm............
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All these things I wonder. All these things I wonder, because I've not yet had to live through it. Of course I wonder these on a day when yet another wonderful infertility bill comes that needs to be paid. Anyone out there who's insurance DOES NOT cover infertility knows just how stressful the financial part is. Hey...maybe by the time I have a kid I'll want to name it Great Expense, or Cash Noflow.
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Tiffany

Fur Children

A small glimps into my life. Here are my girls, Lacy and Kilo.

Lacy as a puppy

Our beautiful girl now.

Lacy keeping close tabs on her toys.

Kilo as a puppy.

Kilo in her puppy bed.

Lacy trying to fit in the puppy bed.

The girls now, they love to spoon.



Doggy Love.

A Good Thing Happened

I almost forgot to take my clomid today!!! (That's a good thing you question?) Yes! It is! At least it is for me.

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You see this cycle I'm really trying out the whole "forget about it" thing. (I know, I know, I'm attempting the impossible.) But you see, in months past, I've been consumed with infertility. I've been consumed with taking my vitamins and my clomid to the point where I'd take them at the exact time (literally down to the minute) each day. Taking my clomid was the first thing on my mind as I got up, and the last think on my mind as I went to bed. I would constantly check my calendar just to verify what cycle day it was, over, and over again.

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So, after Monday's FAIL, Tuesday's "why me" questions, and Wednesdays depressed slumber all day long (literally sleeping every hour I was not at work) I've decided to throw Negative Nancy-pants to the wolves. I'm actually going to try on a Hopeful Halo for size this month.

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This is a stretch for me. By nature I tend to be a very critical, skeptical, plan for the worse type person. Therefore the fact that I almost forgot to take my clomid was such a positive step for me. Maybe I've actually learned to "forget about it" a little bit.

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Hubs, just don't let me forget the whole "sperm in uterus" thing. That part is slightly crucial.

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Tiffany

Things Just Keep Gettin Better

Um wait, no they don't. Just when I'd thought I'd reach the maximum on the sarcasm-infertility scale...my RE has to go and one-up me. "Come on infertility, can't I even get the last laugh???"
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Well ladies, this cycle I do believe I have reached total hilariousity of infertility. This month's ultrasound is scheduled on....VALENTINE'S DAY!
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So, if it's not hilarious enough that infertility doesn't even take the weekends off; it apparently doesn't take hallmark holidays off either.
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How romantic. Instead of a long walk with the dogs, followed by a movie, then dinner, then sex that is just sex (not baby making, planned, un-organic sex) we will be infertility bound. Yup. On Valentine's day we will be at our fertility clinic...with a condom encased camera...up my hoo-ha.
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I can't make this stuff up folks, you just gotta laugh.
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Tiffany

The Next Step?

If there is one question that stings more then "Are you pregnant?" It would be this one. "What are you doing next?" or, "What's the next step?" That question is so PARALIZING to me it's almost hard to put into words.
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I appoligize to any friends or fam that I've snapped at after this question. For whatever reason this question reminds me of the Cliffhanger game in The Price Is Right. In the world of infertility there are only so many "steps" you can take until SPLAT! Game over. I know we are getting to the end of our options. We are getting near the end of our "next steps" there's only a few more "next steps" we can take...and it's terrifying.
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However, I'm pleased to inform you that we HAVE decided on what steps we are taking this month. We are going to opt for IUI with GFI (Guaranteed Fertilization Insurance). Duh. Don't know why we didn't do this the first 568 cycles. Secondly, to save money, instead of having the dildo cam ultrasound we are going to go through Airport Security. We're sure the body scans will be invasive enough to check on our little follies. Finally we are going to splurge for the UEG (Uterus-Embryo Glue.) That way we will ensure that the embryo will stick to the uterus at least for the first trimester.
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Wish us luck!
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Tiffany

The Self-Screw

No ladies, this is not some fabulous new maneuver that will help you conceive 100% of the time. (Though I wish there was one...hey, has anyone tried a pillow under your hips?) lol.

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The Self-Screw is what happens after another failed attempt, another BFN (big fat negative), another box of tampons or another round of provera.

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The Self-Screw starts with massive build up of resentment to all your ttc antics, to the point where you feel the need to take your anger out on them. "I'll show you who's boss stupid folic acid pill!" "Make your own pee yellow you dumb B-complex." "Alcohol Shmalcohol pour me a double!"

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The morning of the self-screw usually starts out with you taking your hub's temperature instead of your own. Obviously yours isn't working. Then, you take one look at the prenatals and all the other horse pills you are swallowing, and you throw them down the sink. You obviously don't need those anyway right? Then it's followed by the decision NOT to call your RE today. You're going to call her on day 2 just to break the rules. Since you don't feel preggo at least you can feel like a rebel. Then you go to work and actually have to act like a human being. It helps to boast and brag to all women with small children about how much free time you have and all the fabulous places you and your hubs are going to travel this year. (She need not to know you have no money to travel to these wonderful places.) Then finally you're back home again where you throw your high-folic acid diet to the dogs. It's pizza and beer for everyone tonight...followed by chocolate and wine...with a side of martini.

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Unfortunately, the negative backlash and the true meaning of the Self-Screw sets in: It may feel good at the time, but in reality, your just doing it to yourself.

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Tiffany

Worst Case of the Mondays

I'm sure you can figure it out.

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At least I was spared another negative pregnancy test.

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More to come when I feel like talking.

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Midol please!

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Tiffany