Irony and the "Of Course I'm Not Pregnant" Moment

Well isn't' this just great. I'm not pregnant, I just know it.
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OK then, after that upbeat opener let me explain. We all know, and I'm as true of a believer as they come, that pre-pregnancy symptoms are a MYTH. Therefore, I'm finding it so ironic that I'm having them. Ironic and disheartened because since I'm having these mythical symptoms that do not exist, then therefore it is just too good to be true and of course I'm not pregnant. (Don't ask, this is just how my brain works. There is always a crazy double-negative, or a 'you do this it means that', or an opposite-day kind of reaction in my brain. My poor husband.)
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Example: All night and all day today I've had terrible nausea. Reasoning: It must have been some bad chicken salad that I ate. Ex: I've been craving "rich" foods like pancakes and french toast. Reasoning: It's winter, it's cold, there's snow outside and I need comfort food. Ex: I am extremely tired and napping everyday. Reasoning: I did wake up at 4:30 for work today, also could be a little depressed, and sleeping is care-free. Ex: I'm peeing a lot and it smells weird. Reasoning: I'm drinking more water and duh, the rich foods are making my pee smell different.
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So as you can see there is a CLEAR explanation for all me pre-pregnancy symptoms and none of them is a bun in the oven. Man, just when I though I was putting on my Hopeful Halo this month, Negative Nancy is back in full effect.
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Happy Monday everyone! Now I'm off to the bathroom then to take a nap.
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Tiffany

Sunday Funday

Hello out there and thank you all for joining me today. Please allow me to introduce you to my most favorite commercial of all time. Now, I know there has been many new one's out during the Super Bowl and also during these Olympics, however none have touched me close to my heart as the Geico Pothole Commercial. (and not this is not an endorsement, I don't even carry geico insurance....but anyway)

(I couldn't get the video to post, so follow the link here)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjMUfIKktWU

I'm not sure what it is that I find so hilarious about it. Weather it's the ditsy girls voice, or the fact that a pothole is talking, it is pure comedy to me. It got me thinking how hilarious it would be to use this commercial as inspiration of how to answer those annoying ,"I thought you'd have kids by now" or, "Why don't you have kids yet, when will you try" questions. How fabulous would that be if I was actually able to pull off the following act after one of those questions.

First, after the question I would look around with a shocked look on my face. Then in the most ditsy voice I can muster up I would say, "Shoot! I got no kids. Cus I'm an infertile? Sooooooo.."

Ha ha, that's just a funny thought. Tuesday is the end of my first weeks wait. I do not have to go get my progesterone checked this month which is nice. After that I will be plagued with the ever so horrifying test early or wait predicament. I'm getting nervous again as I don't "feel" pregnant. What do you think? Would you test early?

Tiffany

More Thoughts and TMI

Ok, earmuffs children, earmuffs. This might be a little TMI (too much information) for some of you out there, and hubs might kill me, but I'm willing to take that chance.
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So today in reading some of my fellow bloggies blog's I noticed a trend that I have not been following. I have realized that some RE's consider an IUI to have 2 insemination's. So basically after your HCG shot you have an appointment for your first insemination, followed by a second insemination on the same time the following day. Other doctors feel like they are "covering all bases" by doing that just to make sure the timing is right. WELL WHAT THE HECK, WHY ISN'T MY DR. BETTER BE A MIRACLE WORKER COVERING ALL MY BASES? All of a sudden I felt like second base was wide open ready to be stolen by AF. "Quick Mr. Shortstop get your egg, I mean ass on that base and cover it!"
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So, in a freaking out panic (because of course now that I know this information obviously my IUI wasn't good enough and did not work) I desperately call my husband to make sure he was coming home for lunch. Yes I did, and I'm sure you can predict what my intentions were....To make him the most tasty lunch he'd ever had, rub his back and blow in his ear, and get him in the sack before he headed back to work.
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Phew!
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Crisis averted. However I can't say I completely feel better about the situation because there's still the fact that my RE might not be covering all bases.
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I know they say every other day is the best, but I'm beginning to get into panic mode. Next month we're doing it every day and twice on Tuesdays. WAIT! There won't be a next month, right?!?!?
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Tiffany

2WW and Random Thoughs

Oh the places and infertile's mind will go. It's scary really. 3 Years ago it would have never dawned on me that I'd be putting so much thought into cervical mucous, or sitting shotgun holding a Thermos of sperm.
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Nonetheless here I am, and my thoughts are uncontrollable. So yesterday I actually was thinking about the sperm clinic. I noticed when they took hubs back, they took him down a different hall, to a different room. Why did they do that I wonder? Is it because each room has different "material" and they don't want him to get bored with this whole experience. I wonder if the nurse looked at his chart and thought, "He was in the Young Bimbo's room last time so we should put him in the Housewife Hotties room today." How hilarious would that be?
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On the way driving back to pick our guys up hubs asked a question which got us to thinking. What would happen if you got preggers through IUI and your baby popped out not looking like you at all. For example if it was a completely different ethnicity than you or your hubs or anyone in your family. What would happen? Would you look for your guys to see if they resulted in a pregnancy for another mom? Oh boy, I'm sure that would be a hefty settlement if that ever happened.
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After having this conversation you can imagine how disturbed we were when we got back to the clinic for pickup and the other lady behind the desk took a look at us and said, "Oops, wrong Thermos." "WHAT?" That is definitely NOT something you want to hear at a semen analysis clinic. Well, that and, "I'm sorry we dropped it. Can you do it again?"
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There you have it. I'm only on day 2 of my 2WW and all my thoughts are about sperm. You know what they say, "Think Fertile Thoughts!"
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Tiffany

In the Danger Zone

Well, well, well. I don't know what it is about my insemination days and pornographic material but I'll tell you what, I'm seeing a pattern. Last month when I googled images for "girl with legs up" I received quit a shock. So today, I google images under the keyword "danger" and holy smokes, naked women everywhere. Who would have thought?
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So, with a little modification to "danger sign" I have my graphic and I will continue to my topic. As skeptical as I am, as critical as I am, and as pessimistic as I am, I have somehow allowed myslef to slip into the zone...the DANGER ZONE.
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I have actually allowed myself to daydream of what it's going to be like to get those blessed two lines and show my husband. I've imagined how it will feel to actually get to tell my parents they are going to be grandparents. I've thought about sending an Uncle card to my brother, and yes, yes, as exciting as it will be I've even thought about my "pregnant post" to tell all you wonderful people. Oh boy what have I gotten myself into?
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I've stopped even letting myself go to the danger zone for months now because it's just too painful when I get the BFN. I don't know what is so different about this month that I've been able to pretty much break all the rules that I'd set for myself. If I believed in signs, I'd hopefully say this is a big one. Maybe I'm acting different, because the outcome will be different. I can only hope.
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Today's IUI was perfect. Now, we might have come across as being slightly too eager, seeing as we were at the door to the clinic before the worker came to open up with the keys, AND we were pulling in to our RE's office the same time our doc was. "Well hello Dr. Better Be A Miracle Worker Or I Expect 100K By Next Christmas, how are you this morning? Here, let me get the door for you since you've seen my vagina this year more than my husband!"
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The good news is that since my progesterone level was so high last cycle, and we didn't change my clomid dose, I do not need to get my progesterone checked next week. So, all there's left to do is W A I T!
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Tiffany

Happy Velentine's Day! Have a shot!

Yippy!! WAIT!
No.
No.
No.

Not that kind of shot.

Ah, yes. This kind of shot. Right in the arrss.

So great news at our appointment this morning. On the right side we found one follie that was 26mm (the biggest follie we've ever seen)! Plus, another one tucked behind the ovary that was roughly in the teens. On the left we found another follie that was 17mm. Great stuff! After talking about it with our RE we've decided to take the HCG shot, (a.k.a. trigger shot) to induce ovulation. She explained to us that after a failed IUI of detecting my own LH surge, this is the next step.

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It was also exciting to know that things this month seem to be moving along quicker then they ever have in the past. Typically, I ovulate around CD19. This month, my follies have grown big enough to ovulate on CD15. In my book a shorter cycle is a better cycle, I'm sick of this 36 day crap! We're not sure exactly why I'm mysteriously having shorter cycles. It could possibly be because this is my first full cycle on metformin. Or it could be because I've tried to be slightly healthier: i.e.no drinking, much much less running and lifting weights. Who knows.

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So far this has been a Valentine's day to remember. It started off great with a vaginal ultrasound, "Good morning uterus!" It was then followed by a nice hefty out-of-pocket bill. Then it was off to brunch to celebrate all while there was a syringe in my purse with two needles. "Psst, excuse me miss, there are no metal detectors in Mimi's Cafe right?" Finally it will end with a good ole shot in the butt. I'm beaming!

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Could this be it? Could this really be MY month?

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Tiffany

Feeling Blah

So far this cycle I'm unsure how this whole "forget about it" thing is really working for me. I'm not sure if it's working extremely well, or if it's horribly going to blow up in my face.
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See, the reason I've been able for the most part to "forget about it" is due to the fact that I haven't felt anything. Literally, I've not had one hot flash, one night sweat, one mood swing (hubs may disagree) or one episode of blurred vision. (Which is a side effect of clomid that you are supposed to report to your doc if you experience, but I never did report it, just had it a few times.) So therefore I have completely convinced myself that the clomid has stopped working on me and I have no follies growing.
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I wonder could that really happen? Can your body become resilient to this medicine to where in no longer effects you? I'm sure it can, and I'm sure that is what's happening. On Sunday, on Valentine's Day, I'm sure the RE will tell me, "You have zero follicles on the left side, and negative two on the right" ("Negative number" you ask? Yes, because if there's a way to put insult to injury, infertility will do it.)
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Today is CD10 and in clomid world that means today you start doing it every other day. However, if your doing IUI that is not as necessary. I'm not even sure if we are going to continue with another IUI this month, and if we will use the trigger shot or not. We will figure that all out on Sunday, yes...on Valentine's Day.
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Until then I'm still finding something hilarious. It's so ironic to me that when your not "supposed to" have sex, you want to; And when you should be doing it, you could really care less too. Hmm, to learn something about myself: Just tell me not to do something, and I will!
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Tiffany