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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Infertility Is So Hard: I Hate Those People

The struggle of an infertile is so hard. We all know that. Infertility affects the infertile and everyone close to them. It can be down right devastating.

On the other hand, when you are blessed with a little miracle, whether it be through intercourse (does that really even work to create a baby?), iui, ivf, adoption, or surrogacy, everyone around you becomes so overwhelmingly happy for you. I remember when we first shared our BFP it was some of the happiest moments of our life.

On the other hand, pre BFP, I remember all the pain we felt when we heard of other people's baby announcements. Not unhappy for them, just pain for us that we were not yet there.

Well, even further down this path are the baby announcements that genuinely make me livid, and sad for the baby. I would HATE to be those people. Those people that when they announce they are pregnant, people actually feel anger and sorrow towards them, instead of joy. It disgusts me that those people actually can conceive. It makes me wonder why? Why can those people have babies and not some of the most sweetest, well deserving people I know. People like you who are reading this and yearn for a child.

Today I caught wind that distant family members are pregnant again with their 4th. It makes me sick. It makes me sad. They cannot even afford the three they have now. Every time I turn around it seems that they are splitting up, no back together, no apart again, wait, no must be together again because she's knocked up. It's so sad. Sad for those children, sad for the unborn baby. It just makes me realize how much I would hate to be those people, I would hate to be those people that others feel sad for instead of happy.

I know the world isn't fair and it's about time to stop asking this question. But I ask it anyway. Why? Why is it so easy for some who it should be hard for, and why is it so hard for those it should be easy for. The age old question...why?



FirstTimeMom said...

I've had the same thoughts and asked the same question. ((hugs)) It's hard not to struggle with why it's so easy for some and not for others even after having a baby after struggling with IF. :(

♥Sarah♥ said...


Last week, after getting engaged the night before we found out we are expecting. Shocked doesn't even begin to describe our feelings, considering we hadn't been actively trying with planning and wedding and all. And I was convinced that with 3 years of not preventing there must be something wrong with B.

I completely understand where you are coming from, I guess it just makes me sad that a lot of people will be upset by my announcement, and not see that for 3 years we actively tried, until we all but gave up.

Jennifer Vanzant said...

I know exactly how you feel as me and my husband are going through with fertility problems too. Weve always wanted a baby and can actually take care of a baby and yet now days 14 year olds go behind the bowling alley and get pregnant! I mean really>? Good luck on your journey!!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. Even sitting here now with my baby it's hard not to question why it's sooo easy for some people and still so hard for others. It's hard not to get upset and even a little angry.