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Thursday, March 31, 2011

A Mom Staying At Home

That's what I am.

I am a Mom staying at home. I'm not a stay at home Mom.

Let me explain: I am a real estate agent and therefore, I get the luxury of staying at home to raise our son. I do not however consider myself a stay at home mom because I am technically a "full time" Realtor. So basically I am a mom, staying at home, but I'm on-call 24-7 to poopy diapers, hungry bellies, property calls, showing requests, tired cries, bored cries, active dogs, client concerns, price reductions, cost negotiations, dirty laundry and an occasional closing (a.k.a. payday).

Therefore, until we have no money concerns (cue hysterical laughter) I do get to stay at home, but I have to drop everything and run like a chicken with my head cut off every single time the phone rings or an email pops up. (Thank the good Lord for Blackberry's)

Hence my guilt about today. B had a rough day and I am to blame. Tears. We went to the grocery and he did great. In fact he loves it because there are so many colors and things to look at. Well I pushed my luck in the carseat when we got home. He was so content and about to take a nap I thought I would just leave him in the carseat, transfer him to the stroller, grab the dogs and go for a walk. You know that whole 2 birds 1 stone thing. Or is it a bird in the hand? Oh whatever. So instead of falling asleep, B decided he would throw a tantrum instead. Perfect. I had to walk 3/4 of the block home with a crying baby. Uhg. Finally we get home and I swaddle him and lay him down for a nap. Ahhh, all is good in the world. Until the phone rings. Problems. I had to run out to one of my listings and change out a sign within the next 40 minutes. More problems. The sign doesn't fit in my trunk and I had to tie my trunk down with rope. Uh, never done that before. Hubs? Where are you? Oh yeah, making the real money. Even more problems. I had to do it. (close your eyes) I HAD TO WAKE A SLEEPING BABY! (cringe) Poor guy. Back in the carseat B went, right where he came from, screaming. So down the road I went with a pissed off baby, a trunk swinging by it's hinges, and me clinching my hands on the wheel just hoping the trunk stays down and my baby stays....well...doesn't stay pissed.

All turned out fine in the end. Fine for everyone except for me and my guilt. I feel so bad for having to disrupt him. I know this will be the first of many...but still I feel shitty for doing that to him. I feel shitty for playing with him then in a split second when my phone rings having to lay him down and run to the other room to ruffle through some paperwork. .....Hum...maybe that's how he learned to roll so quickly??



Ashley said...

Okay busy lady, I got tired just reading all of that!! I think you might need a truck!!!!!

FirstTimeMom said...

:( sorry you had such a rough day. You're not a bad mom nor should you feel guilty. You are doing what you need to do to make money for your family and that money goes to support your baby's needs. ((hugs)) things will get better the older he gets and it will get easier. Especially when he can entertain himself.

Traci said...

sometimes I have to wake my little peanut to get her ready for day care. I HATE doing that to her. Such is the life of a working mom I guess.