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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Excuse me Doc?

First off, here's my boy 8 weeks old!!

I know some of you are very curious as to what my Pediatrician said to us that slapped me right back into my infertile mind. So I will begin with that story.

It was actually at one of our first appointments, either 1 week or 2 week old apts. I do love our pediatrician because he (in the beginning) was spending just as much time, or even more time talking about me and how I'm feeling as compared to how Bradley was doing. I do think that was really nice. However, he was asking us some question about how the pregnancy went or something, and I had mentioned that being pregnant was easy, it was getting pregnant that was the hard part, and then I went on to explain our IF struggle. He then asked if we wanted more children and when. I said something like, "Well, we want to give Bradley a good shot at being the only kid for a while, and maybe give him a chance to get out of diapers before we give him a sibling." Well I was expecting to hear back something to the effect of , "Oh how nice!" Or even, "Good idea, diapers are expensive." But no, this is what I got..."Oh really? Are you sure? Most parents I know that went through fertility are very scared they won't be able to get pregnant again and they start trying right away." He even added a shocked looking face and scary tone to his voice. (Ok, maybe he didn't make it that dramatic but of course, that's how I took it.)

I think I was stunned, shocked even, and spent the rest of the appointment with my jaw dropped and my eyes wide open. I think it took me a good 10 minutes to finally blink again. "Thanks for that doc, now I am terrified and feeling the need to call my RE to tell her it's CD1 please call in my meds."

On that note, last week I had my post-partum appointment with my OB. We talked about the game plan in moving forward with my PCOS. I feel like having PCOS and breastfeeding puts you in a huge gray area. Because of breastfeeding, I might not get a period. Because of PCOS I might not get a period. So, if I don't get a period it's hard to tell which is the reason for the absence of Aunt Flow. So the big question is how log to we wait until they put me on the pill again. Now, I HATE the idea of going back on the pill but because of the cysts I know that it is more healthy for me to be on the pill and having regular periods than to not be on any medication. But I would really like a shot for my body to regulate itself and go 'all natural' if you know what I mean.

But then there is the whole issue of what happens if I spontaneously get pregnant now. First off, I know for that to happen pigs would fly, fat ladies all across the world would be signing, and unicorns would be real. However, my doc said she has had patients with PCOS get pregnant right after they give birth. For that reason, she asked if I wanted to be on the pill right now. I declined. But it has made me wonder what if.....................

My plan for now is to wait it out until my next apt which is in March. At that point we might decided to induce a period and go on the pill. But to me....if I'm still breastfeeding that still might be to early to go that far. I don't know. Like I said...gray area.

In conclusion to this whole post: PCOS SUCKS!


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Merry Christmas! Now please put on a mask and gloves.

Hello all! No, I can't believe it's been this long since I've blogged either. And no, I can't believe that I almost have a 2 month old.

Hope everyone had a very merry Christmas! Our was great. I can't tell you how many times hubs and I looked at each other and said, "Can you believe it, last year at this time we thought we'd never get pregnant! Last year at this time Bradley wasn't even created yet!" It truly is a miracle.

Now onto more important things....GERMS! Yup, I admit it. I have completely become a germ-a-phobe and it was in full force for Christmas. I did not let my baby get passed around to be held and people probably thought I was ridiculous for that but I don't care.

A List Of Things I Hate

1. The automatic shut off on the vibration for the My Little Lamb

2. Squeegy-ing my son's nose. (That's what we call the suction thing)

3. Breast feeding while blogging. Typing with one hand is hard, and slow.

4. Pasi's on the floor.

5. OB apts. They are back to being boring.

6. Night time poops that are never ending and dirty 5 diaps in one change.

A List Of Things I Love

1. Everything including the previous list!

Next post I will update on my post-partum OB check and the plan to move forward with my PCOS, also on the thing my pediatrician asked me that sent me right back to my mindset of a constantly worried infertile.


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Latch

Yes, I'm still amazed that milk is coming out of my boobs.

Just needed to take another moment to talk about nursing.

Can I just tell you how good it feels to get the correct latch? It feels like such an accomplishment.

I would equate it to that feeling you get when you start the lawn mower on the first try. Like you just won the gold. Yes, it's that amazing.

However, it's a good thing you don't need to start the lawn mower every 3 hrs!

My boy has gained over 3 lbs since birth! Go boobs go!


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I Though I'd Never Be "That Mom"

But I am...

Hubs walks in the door from work.

Cue me:

"Ok so, today he did so good. He went 3 hours between all his feedings. Plus he had a blow out and it totally got all over his onesie. But that's ok because I was kind of excited to put him in a new outfit. And then it was 4 o'clock and he wasn't supposed to eat again until 5 so I gave him a bath and he did so great and it tided him over until 5. But I think we need to start soaking him in the tub so he doesn't get too cold. And he did tummy time but he loves being on his tummy so he just laid there until he fell asleep. Then he had another huge poop but it stayed in the diaper. So here he is, full, clean, dry, and happy. And I vacuumed, see?"...."Oh yeah so how was your day?"

But to be honest with you...I've never been so happy talking about nothing but my day cleaning my baby's butt. Ah, this is the life!

My smiling baby boy is 1 Month old!!!


Wednesday, December 1, 2010


For more adorable (if I do say so myself) pictures of our baby boy please add my family blog at http://dusinafamily.blogspot.com/

It's hard enough for me to blog, remain witty as I blog, and post pictures to two sites. Please understand! My family blog will be updated with pics of our growing sprout and this blog is where I will continue to drop f-bombs and talk about leaky nipples. Enjoy!


Monday, November 29, 2010

I am absolutely convinced that...

... Whoever coined the phrase, "Don't wake a sleeping baby" was definitely NOT NURSING!

First of all, let me just start by saying I am still completely astonished that milk is coming out of my boobs. It still seems like such a foreign concept, even though it is happening to me.

Second, I have always heard about feeling your milk "let down" but it is the most unbelievable concept until it really happens to you. It is so weird. Hi, my name is Tiffany, and I can feel when my milk lets down. I can now be fully admitted into the "mom's club".

Third, holy painful hell when your milk does let down, and needs to be let out, and there is a sleeping baby. Don't wake a sleeping baby, my ass. When your boobs which are already 2 cup sizes bigger than normal, are now so full of milk that they have grew another 2 cup sizes and no longer fit into your nursing bra which is bigger than any size bra you've ever seen...like hell you don't wake a sleeping baby.

Now I know during those situations I could pump, which I do, but back in the day before great pumps what did women do? Wake the baby! Just my observation that the person who says not to wake the baby, was not experiencing pain in their boobs unlike any pain they've ever experienced.

Wait, come to think of it. The person said it was probably a man.


Monday, November 15, 2010

My New Pet Peeve


Why must you touch my baby?

Is there like this magnetic force that pulls all strangers in to touch my baby as if my baby is the north pole and all strangers are the south pole and they just get attached to each other.

Why must all strangers touch the hands or the cheeks of the baby? Yes, I realize that those are the only exposed parts of the baby, but can't you touch a foot which is conveniently covered by a bootie?

Or how about this? I don't know you, so how about you cross your hands behind your back and just look at my precious baby. That would terrific!

I mean come on, I know my baby is the most beautiful thing in the world (if I do say so myself =) however I am running out of alcohol swabs to wipe is his little hands down after strangers touch them.

Wow- I can't believe it but I think I'm becoming a germ-a-fobe. If you knew me, you would know this is so far from my personality. I mean I'm the person that will eat things off the floor...of the bathroom. Well not really but I've never been one to worry about germs, or catching other people's colds.

They do say a baby will change your life....And he's changing mine in more ways than I'd ever imagine!!


Sunday, November 14, 2010

This Might Be Harder Than I Thought

No, I'm not talking about being a mom. That is coming so naturally. I really feel like I was born to be a mommy, and it's the best feeling in the world!

What I'm talking about is blogging. Keeping up with my blog might be harder than I thought. But I must prevail! Why? Because I'm horrible at journaling as there is no spell check button at the end of a spiral notebook. So this is really my main form of keeping my memories.

Here is us on our last day in the hospital, and Bradley's first day at home meeting his two sisters.

Of course we couldn't leave without getting a picture of Nurse Angela holding our baby boy.

Lacy and Kilo meet Bradley

All the beautiful flowers and congratulation notes. It really made my hospital room a brighter place!

Mommy and son

Ahh, our first nap on the couch.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Scabby Nipples, Industrial Size Pads and Couldn't Be Happier!

A link to Bradley's hospital photographs: http://www.our365.com/NewbornPortraits/BabyDetail.aspx?birthid=e6deed86-3b79-4a0a-ab82-75b71db16641

This is the time where I feel like mush and want to go all soft on you and talk about the 'amazingness' of motherhood and the uncontrollable amount of love I have for my new son, but I will refrain. :)

But don't worry, I won't even begin to start complaining about the lack of sleep or nipple pain either. I love it all so much. Every second of it.

I have been home from the hospital since Sunday and really have been feeling great. Recovering from a c-section is not at all as bad as I would have expected. Hubs is amazing, and I look at him in awe everyday. He's such a good daddy. Such a natural.

And Bradley, oh Bradley. You had me at "Waahh." As we cuddled at home on Tuesday the 9th it was amazing to look down and see our baby boy already in our arms on his due date. I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am for the doctors who put the needs of my baby first, and practiced such amazing medicine. They are unbelievable. For the cord to have been wrapped 3 times around his little neck, and to have him here and so healthy is such a blessing.

Another blessing was our nurse Angela. She was the nurse that started at 7am on Thursday the 4th. It was 7pm that day when she was supposed to be getting off her shift when they decided to take me by c-section. She decided to stay late and be with me all through my surgery so I could have a familiar face. She was so kind, and so sweet.

Today we had a home care visit from another nurse. Bradley left the hospital weighing 6lbs 15oz and today he weighs 7lbs 5oz. Go boobs, go! He is sleeping, peeing and pooping. So he is doing is job. I just look at him and my heart melts. It was worth everything, EVERYTHING. Hubs and I were talking today and it's just so amazing that with every follicle that I grew over the months, and every sperm that was shot up there, Bradley was the one who was created. He was the one who decided to stick it out with us. Thank you little B, you are my hero.


Saturday, November 6, 2010

Our "Line Maker" Is Here!

Here's our precious Bradley Carl. Born 11/4/10 at 7:50pm. 7lbs 8oz 20.5in
Born at 39weeks 2days

What an amazing little baby. He has changed our lives in the blink of an eye. We couldn't be more in love. We have waiting for this our whole lives, and it's more perfect than we'd ever imagined.
The story: On Wednesday the 3rd of November I went to my normal 39 week appointment. Everything was normal and going as usual. When asked if I was feeling my baby move, I casually let them know that, "I haven't been feeling his as much as I did last week or the week before, but I'm sure that's normal considering that he's getting so big." The nurse immediately decided to put me on a monitor. For about 15 minutes I was hooked up to a machine that recorded the baby's heart rate, any uterine activity, and then I held a button that I was supposed to push when I felt even the smallest of kick.
After about 20 minutes the dr. came in and looked at everything. While I was still on the monitor she checked my cervix: still closed. While she was in the room watching the monitor I had a contraction and she noticed the baby's heart rate dip. She said right away that she was going to send to right to the hospital for continued monitoring. Then, she noticed that it happened again, and before you know it I'm on my way into the hospital for a complete admittance and induction.
It all happened so fast I don't know if I was more excited or scared. We got the the hospital and the waiting games began. Long story short: Started my on a 12 hour cervidril to soften and dilate my cervix. 2:30 am on Thursday the cervidril came out and I was soft but only a finger tip dilated. They moved onto a different med for 4 hours. It went in at 4am and at 8am I was checked again. Only 1cm. A second dose was put in. During the second dose the baby was showing signs of more stress. They put me on oxygen and on my side. At 2pm I was started on pitocin. 5 hours of painful contractions, no dilation, and more fetal distress they came into my room at 7pm and said your going into the OR for a c-section right now. Wow! I can't even tell you the whirlwind of emotion: scared, excited, terrified, relieved.
I walked into the OR and was given a spinal around 7:30. Hubs was in the OR by 7:45, and Bradley was here at 7:50.
The reasons for the distress: The cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times. Poor guy. Probably the reason he never was able to drop. Good thing they sent me into labor when they did instead of me just waiting around and possibly being late. The doc said we would have had to had a section anyway.
He is perfect.
So amazing, so healthy, so blessed.
I will be in the hospital until Sunday or Monday (hopefully Sunday) More to come later!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Still waiting BUT...

We are officially ready for Baby B's arrival!

Ok I know, I know I'm way jumping the gun with hanging the Christmas stockings....but I just couldn't help myself. If you only knew the whole story:
Last year I ordered personalized stockings for our family; Hubs myself and the two dogs. I thought to myself, "should I order extra stockings?" "No!" I quickly told myself as that would have been breaking my rule to not buy anything baby or remotely planing anything around a possible baby since we had been infertiles. So about a month ago I remembered how I would need to order Bradley his own stocking. I'm pretty anal about decorations and I don't like anything real tacky and I don't like things that don't match. So, you can imagine my disappointment when the lady on the phone told me that they had discontinued the stockings I had just bought last year. I was crushed to say the least. Fast forward a few weeks and I received the catalog to the company that the stockings came from. I almost tossed it directly into the garbage in disgust for cancelling my beautiful stockings. I last second decided I would give the catalog one last shot and opened it up. About 8 pages in THERE THEY WERE! Yippy! So I immediately called in my order for one red Bradley stocking, and then I broke my #1 infertile rule and ordered and extra green stocking that is blank. Let's hope I didn't jinx myself. If worse comes to worse, we'll just have to get another dog!
Anyway, you can see why my excitement over whelmed me when they came in the mail. I had to put them up. Plus, I'm hoping that I will be too busy to do any decorating very soon!
39 week update:
I go to the doc tomorrow. Maybe I'll ask her to strip my membranes....or would that be too forward? I mean, we have been seeing each other pretty regularly. I think it's getting serious.

Thursday, October 28, 2010


Let me introduce you to my


What the heck's a boobie-do you ask?

The official definition: "A Boobie-do is when your belly sticks out farther than your boobies do."

So, isn't that beautiful? Now I've had my boobie-do since about the beginning of my third trimester but it is now in full force. I mean look at the angle of the slope my tee-shirt makes from my shoulder, bypassing my chest, going straight to by belly. That is the true curvature of a woman's body eh? No chest, no waist, just a nice straight line from the shoulder to the belly. Every man's dream figure for their wife.

38w2d Update:
Cervix: Still tightly closed
Effacement: None
Baby: Not dropped

For over a year my body never did what it was "supposed" to do. My body didn't have a period. My body didn't ovulate. My body didn't get pregnant. Now, all of a sudden, my body decides to do what it's supposed to do, and keep a tight cervix, and a strong cozy womb for my baby for an entire 40 weeks. Well what do ya know?

I'll just be hanging out with my boobie-do for another week and a half!


Sunday, October 24, 2010

"Relax. It will happen"

This morning as I sit in front of my computer I find myself contemplating the irony of my situation. I feel as if I have totally gone FULL CIRCLE in my infertility journey and I find myself back at the beginning. Well, obviously not totally at the beginning because I do realize I've had success and there is a baby in my belly, however I find myself mentally and physically going through the actions I had gone through for months ttc.

Oh the irony...

I know I need to "relax" and let labor happen when it happens. But still, hearing that word "relax" or the phrase "relax, it will happen" still makes my ears burn and my spine cringe. I couldn't relax then, and I sure as hell can't relax now.

Also, how the hell can I relax, or the other dreaded, "try not to think about it" when that's literally the only thing I possibly can think about??? First off, I have weekly OB appointments and my doctor's office calls 2 days in advance to remind me of the appointment, therefore, I'm literally having to deal with my OB every 2-3 days. Umm, right. You try not to think about it.

Not to mention the daily reminder of my boobs resting on my stomach, which rests on my thighs, which take longer to stand up on. Yeah right, you try not to think about that.

Plus, I am back to the TP obsession phase of my life. Every wipe. Every single wipe deserves at least a 30 second clinical inspection. Was that my mucus plug? Is there a bloody show? Could that have been my water breaking?

Now, there is only one reason I do anything in life anymore. "Let's go on a walk. It might help me go into labor." "Let's eat Mexican. It might help me go into labor." "Let's clean the house all day. It might help me go into labor." "Let me buy this really expensive diaper bag I want. It might help me go into labor." (Ok that last one might have been stretching it.)

Oh, and let's not even mention the obsession I have once again with my boobs. "Are they getting more tender?" "Is that colostrum seeping out?" "Are my nipples ready?" "Will I produce enough milk?"

Lastly there is the analysis of every little twinge my body feels. This time it's not wondering if that twinge was my ovary trying to ovulate, or the embryo trying to implant. This time it's the wondering if this twinge is the onset of a real contraction that will hurt. Or maybe it's my cervix thinning. Or maybe it's my baby coming out to say hi!

It just amazes me how sometimes you can feel like you've come so far, yet feel like you're right back where you started. Well, right back where you started with a tiny human in your belly :)


Thursday, October 21, 2010


I have a few confessions to make:

After my 37week doctor's appointment yesterday, which by the way I am still very healthy and very lucky that everything is going fine, and after another check of my cervix which is still tightly closed, I went home and did it. I actually googled "How to go into labor."

I know, I know, the baby will come when he's ready. I'm only 37 weeks and shouldn't be panicky, I should just sit back and be patient and thankful that I'm in this situation that I've wanted to be in for so long, but I can't help it. I'm ready to have this baby now. Just to save you from the curiosity of googling it, here is what it said:

Sex: Semen can soften the cervix and releases hormones called prostaglandins which can initiate contractions.

Nipple Stimulation: Can bring out the release of oxytocin which is a natural form of pitocin.

Walking: Can help the baby down the birth canal

Spicy Food: No studies on this one, just could help

Castor Oil: Creates waves and contractions in your GI tract (which I'm sure hurt like hell and are very uncomfortable) which surround your uterus and could stimulate the uterus to contract as well. Or you will just vomit and shit your pants.

Blue and Black Cohosh: Some herb thing that I'm not into.

My second confession: My strep culture came back positive. Yep, I'm one of the 20% of woman who are carriers of the strep bacteria. It's no big deal really, they will just administer meds through my IV when I go into labor. It's just weird to think that my vagina has a strep throat.

My third and last confession: I said "Yes" to my doctor after she asked me if I was still taking iron pills when the truth is I haven't taken one in a week because they make me way too constipated. So there you have it. The truth is I'm a constipated, lying, horrible mother who is trying to hurry her child out of a soft warm place into the cold hard world. Wish me luck!


Monday, October 18, 2010

Fun With Numbers

# of times I peed last night: 5

# of times I pooped last week: 2.5

# of tissues I've used for this cold: 1/2 a box

% of food that drops from my mouth and lands on the floor: 0%

# of times I look in the nursery a day: 2

# of times I look at myself a day and think "Holy baby bump!": 502

# of times I've shaved my legs in the past month: 2 (I should probably get on that)

# of people last week who asked when I was due: 3

# of those people who thought I was having a girl: 1

# of those people who thought I was having a boy: 2

# of walks I try to take daily: 2

# of seconds it takes me to get from a laying position to a standing: 56

# of calories I feel like consuming in a day: 30,000

# of unnecessary break downs over things such as DVR recordings: 3

# of times I think my water has broke but find out it's just a nice amount of CM: 5

# of times I've had to lift a finger to do something around the house: 0! Thanks hubs!


Friday, October 15, 2010

The Good, The Bad, and The Fabulous

The Good: We got to see Bradley's little face today!!! He has these chubby little cheeks. We saw him yawn and saw him suck on his hand. But those cheeks, oh those cheeks. So precious.

The Bad: Because he is head down, facing backward, all ready for delivery, it was impossible to get any 4D images. The pictures that were printed out weren't good at all so I don't have any photos to share.

The Fabulous: My placenta has moved up! It has moved up into the "normal" range so I am completely out of the danger zone. That was a relief. Also it feels so nice to sit there and hear the doctor say, "The baby is growing perfectly, you measure perfectly, your weight gain is perfect, your fluid level is perfect, and your blood pressure is perfect." Ah, what sweet music to my hears.

It is also fabulous how I can take pleasure in the little things. My doctor made a couple comments about how great it is that I'm still wearing my wedding ring. She says how most of her patients get so swollen that they have to take them off. She said how great it was that I can still wear them and hey....any positive feedback makes me feel good at this point!

In other news: At this appointment I also had my strep test. You're probably thinking "Open up and say AHH" right? NOPE! This strep test was more like "Open up your legs and scoot your butt down." Yes, they had to take the culture from down there. It was actually a very comfortable/uncomfortable position. There I was in the stirrups, butt at the end of the table, and knees dropped open wide, when my doc decided to explain the strep test to me. She stood there, both her arms resting on both my knees, in between my legs, explaining the test. "This test is a test that every pregnant woman gets because up to 20% of humans are carriers of the strep bacteria. It is a fine bacteria to carry however it can be passed to your baby if you have it. So If you have it we'll just put you on an antibiotic next week until you deliver. No biggie." Great doctor, you're right, no biggie......just slightly weird that I'm talking to you through my legs. "Here" she says as she hands me the specimen cup to hold as she goes in where the sun don't shine with a Q-tip.

Finally, the biggest news yet. With the ultrasound we of course get the estimated weight of the baby. Are you ready for this?? He's coming in at 36weeks 3days weighing 6lbs 11oz!!!!! Holy big boy. I think my vagina hurts already....


Thursday, October 14, 2010

A Me Update

It's been a while since I've updated my blog on my pregnancy status. So here's a quick update:

I am currently 36w 2d pregnant. *Wow!*

I have my weekly appointment tomorrow with another ultrasound. *Yay!*

I am now starting my weekly visits.

I am feeling huge, and had my first real hormonal/emotional breakdown. Why you ask? Well hubs and I were in the car. I needed to roll the window down, (yes, we still have a car where you have to "roll" the window down,) and my belly was so big and full after eating that I physically could not sit up and bend over enough to get it. Total melt down. Tears and all. Seriously.

Last night right as I parked at the grocery it started pouring down rain. Within the 18 seconds it took for me to RUN into the store I think I pulled a muscle in my groin. Possibly my left abductor. Seriously. I've gone from a fitness freak into a wimp that pulls muscles when they exert themselves.

I am becoming a paranoid planner. I am already the kind of person who will put detergent on the grocery list just when the current detergent is half gone. I can't bear the thought of "running out" of something even though our grocery is literally across the street. So anyway, thinking that I'm less than 4 weeks until d-day has gotten me crazy. I've already stocked up on pads because of all the "bleeding" I hear about that takes place post baby. Therefore I need more granny panties because I only own like 5 pair and that won't cut it. I feel like I need maternity pj's so I can just whip a boob out even though I know it's perfectly ok to just lift my shirt up in the privacy of my own home. I need a diaper bag right? And of course it needs to be fully stocked and ready to go on all these outings that I mysteriously think we will be going on. My dogs need another bath just so they can be super clean for when baby arrives. I have my email list all set up for hubs to make the announcement. I probably need one final hair cut and mani/pedi before I go into "new mom don't have time for myself mode". Uhg, there's just no rest for the weary.

On top of it all I've have this bummer cold. It's making me feel even more tired than I already am. Hopefully it will get better soon.

Well I think that's about it for now. I can't wait for our appointment tomorrow. Hopefully little B will show us his cute little face!


Monday, October 11, 2010

Yes! Another Birthday!

(Posting this a couple days early)

Happy birthday to our dog Kilo! On October 13th it is her 2nd birthday. Wow she's really getting up there! See, I told you I love fall. So many wonderful things including birthdays. Mine, hubs and Lacy's b-day is in September, Kilo's is in October, and Bradley's will be in November! It's a fall frenzy!

Back to Kilo. She was a rescue from the humane society. She was found off the streets of Cincinnati by the dog Warden. She was emaciated, frail and malnourished. They picked her up and took her to the humane society where she was treated for a couple wounds (she has a little scar on her face) and she was then spayed and put in a foster home. The foster mom took her and a few other puppies to Petsmart on a day we happened to be there getting Lacy more food. A couple tugs at my heartstrings later and I knew I wanted her. Hubs and I decided not to make a rash decision so we left the store with just the dog food. 20 minutes later we were back at the store, Lacy in hand so she could meet her new 8 week old sister. Impulsive? Maybe but it turned out to be the completion to our fur children. Here's a peek into Kilo's 2 years.

First day at home. You can see her butt bones sticking out and you could also see her ribs.

Learning to pee outside!

Learning to eat the food we give her inside, not scavenging outside. Lacy wondering how long this "thing" is going to stay in our house.

Kilo looking at me as if to say, "Are you my mommy?"

"Yes! Yes! You are my mommy!"

She loves her daddy too!

Growing bigger! She loves being the little spoon.

Being the little spoon again. (And this is how you can find me most nights after 9)

Once again, she's the little spoon.



Saturday, October 9, 2010

Happy Anniversary!

To my Mom & Dad! 34 years ago today they said "I do!"

What a great wedding photo. I just love this photo of them. In a time when divorce seems to be the norm among parents of my peers; I am truly grateful and thankful that I come from a family of such love for one another.

The oh so famous words of the great Dr. Phil (who I love, you can hate me, but I love him) go something like this: "The greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love, protect and care for their mother. The greatest gift a mother can give to her children is to love, protect and care for their father." I find those words to be so powerful, and so true.

I just want to say Dad, thank you for loving mom so wonderfully, so fully and so unconditionally. It is because of you I know what love is, and it is because of you I know how to love. Mom, thank you for loving dad so wonderfully, so fully and so unconditionally. It is because of you I know what love is, and it is because of you I know how to love.

It is also so wonderful to me that their anniversary falls on October 9th, and Bradley's due date is November 9th. In just one month my mom and dad will become grandparents for the first time. I am just so excited for them and know they will be the best grandparents in the world. I cannot wait to be able to give them such a precious title as Grandma and Grandpa. I know they are going to be such a huge part of Bradley's life, and I love it.


What Month Is it?

After answering "October, " the next answer out of most people's mouth would be "Breast Cancer Awareness Month." Then I would most likely say, "Save the boobs!" (I just love the save the boobs t-shirt campaign, I also love save the ta ta's. I don't know why, it just really speaks to me) =)

Well then, I would also like to remind you that it is also Realtor Safety Awareness month. Bet you didn't know that huh?
Well this actually got me thinking about how many "special celebrations" or "holidays" each month holds. So I began to research. October is also:
Hispanic Heritage Month
Disability Awareness Month
Computer Learning Month
Hunger Awareness Month
Month of the Dinosaurs
National Popcorn Popping Month
National Crime Prevention Month
National Clock Month

Also within the month of October there is:
Fire Prevention Week
Christopher Columbus Day
United Nations Day
Sweetest Day
and Halloween of course

Wow.... And this is just one month. Now don't get me wrong, all of these causes need a voice, especially breast cancer. But..if you were Mr. Hunger Awareness wouldn't you be a little annoyed at Ms. Breast Cancer for stealing all the spotlight? Just a thought.

Plus, how are we supposed to really keep up on all these causes. I try to be an activist, and do things for the greater good but really, who can donate time and/or money to ALL these? Plus you have Hallmark just loving it because it seems you're having to send out a card almost every day of the week to someone you know.

Truly, throughout the year there is the "normal" mother's days and father's days, but did you know there is also grandparents day? There is secretary day, nurse's day, teacher's day, bosses day, veteran's day, international woman's day, armed forces day and many many more. I mean we all know so many people that fall into one or more of these categories.

I think I'm going to make sure everyone I love and appreciate knows that I love and appreciate them every day of the year. Not just on one day out of 365. Sound like a good idea?


Sunday, October 3, 2010

It Fell

Fall did. Fall has officially fell. And I love it!

I'm waking up with a stuffy nose and watery eyes. I'm hearing the sounds of hubs snore because he can't breath in his sleep. I can't leave the bedroom anymore without a sweatshirt and slippers. On Friday nights we can hear the sounds of the announcer and the crowd roar from the high school football game across the street. I continuously here "Da nan nant, da nan nant" (the ESPN sound) from my living room whenever hubs is in there. I've roasted my first marshmallow over an open fire. I've already made myself sick off of Halloween candy I bought early "just in case" and promised myself I wouldn't open yet. Ahhhhhhhh yes, Fall is here, and I love it.

Last night we went to dinner with a group of people from hubs work. It had been the first time I'd seen to spoken to any of them since I've became pregnant. They are all sweet people, especially the wives, however, I just don't get why people always find it necessary to tell their horror stories. Why do people always default first to the stories of "how hard it was" or "how tired you were" or "how much everything in your life changed." Of course it always seems as if after 20 minutes of Debbie Downer stories they do always end with , "But I just loved being a mom, it was the best thing in the world!" Well great! Why don't you think about leading with that story next time eh?

It did get me thinking of how hubs and I only have 37 days left. 37 days till we meet this little man. 37 days left of hanging out together just us. Wow. It is crazy to think that after 37 days it won't be "just us" around the house again for a good 20+ years. That is pretty dynamic if you think about it. I guess with all the change in the air, and in our lives I'm getting pretty emotional. Last night hubs and I were talking. He said looking back when he was younger,
and thinking about what the "American Dream" would look like for him...this would be it. Great wife, great house, great dogs, and a kid on the way. WOW! *Tear* I love him so, I am so lucky.


Thursday, September 30, 2010

This & That

Here I am currently 34w 2d pregnant. So much to be thankful for. I was thinking this morning on the walk to my Ob appointment, (yes, it is right across the street, very convenient) where we were just a year ago. I was probably somewhere in the middle of provera pills or clomid pills, trying to detect my LH surge, preparing for Thanksgiving dinner at my house, all while hoping by then I would have some BFP news. Which obviously I didn't, but still, who cares, it's amazing where I am at today. If someone would have whispered in my ear last year at Thanksgiving that this year at Thanksgiving I would have a little baby boy in my arms I wouldn't have believed it. It just all seemed so impossible, like it would never happen to me. But it did! It's so amazing!

With all that being said about really truly how grateful I feel, it is now time for me to be real, and complain. lol

Sleep is really not happening any more. Little B is so big now that even his hiccups wake me up at night. Let alone the fact that when he kicks or moves it can wake me out of the deepest sleep. I wouldn't trade it for the world, well maybe I would trade it for just one night of a full 8 hrs :-)

I can't poop. I go for days with nothing but a rabbit dropping. I just ran out of my stool softener last night. Note to self: Put Dulcolax on list

I think I have varicose veins, or some really ugly unfortunate stretch marks on my butt. Like literally directly on each cheek. I mean I don't care that much. If I'm going to get them, best be on a place that no one will ever see anyway. I'm not that much of a thong bikini wearer so it's no big deal. It's just gross to think that I've really gotten that big. It's gross to think that's what hubs can see. But oh well, I'm just moving on and telling myself it's only temporary and I will get back in shape.

My wardrobe is limited. The weather is starting to change and I can't wear the flowing sun dresses anymore. I actually am having to put on pants. Yuck. I know my baby is like "What is this tight thing wrapped around me and cutting off my circulation?" It's mommy's pants dear.

WE'RE GETTING ANOTHER ULTRASOUND! At my doc appointment today she said she had been debating with herself whether or not to schedule another scan to look at my placenta. She said I'm in the boarder zone where there really isn't strict protocol on what to do. At the last scan it wasn't covering my cervix, but it was still low. Therefore she decided to be on the safe side and take one more look at it at 36 weeks, which will be in two weeks. Again, any chance to see my baby is fine by me! I just hope he's not in the taco position this time and we can see his face!!!


Monday, September 27, 2010

I Might Have Over Done It

Probably another dumb move. You live and you learn right?

This whole breast feeding thing has been a hot topic of conversation. Well really, it's just been a hot topic in my own brain that never seems to shut up. There are so many tips, and advise, and personal stories, and rules that I have heard from friends and family and even doctors. It's really gotten me thinking that breastfeeding will be the hardest thing I ever do.

I have recently put one of the tips into action. Preparing Your Nipples. I've heard from many sources, especially first hand from my mom, that you have to prepare and "toughen up" your nipples before you begin nursing to help minimize the soreness, pain, or callus feeling you could get later. My mom told me that before she had my older brother she began to prepare her nipples by every time she stepped out of the shower she would rub her towel over her nipples to toughen them up. She says since she did that she never had an issue of pain after she began breast feeding her first baby. Then she explains how when I came along she thought "Oh I don't need to prepare my nipples for this one, I've done this already." Well she was wrong and said the second baby hurt much worse because,...well of course it was because the nipples weren't prepared.

Well I took this to heart and thought with 6 weeks to go in my pregnancy, I should prepare my nipples. So I gave them both a harder rub down with my loofa during my shower, and then rubbed them each again with my towel as I got out of the shower. WHOA! I might as well have rubbed them down with a brillo pad by the amount of burn I felt the rest of the day. They were on fire. My nipples were flaming from under my bra all day long.

So I think I might have over done it. Wouldn't you say so? I will now try to ease my way into preparing my nipples. I will also try and never use the phrase "preparing my nipples" as much as I have in this post. Ever. Again.


Monday, September 20, 2010

More (Bleep) They Don't Tell You

There have been many, many times during the whole process of TTC and pregnancy when I've felt the need to go back and re-write every book ever written for health classes or moms-to-be and add in the real sh*t that happens.

It truly has been such a help finding all of your blogs out there and being able to read about other women's experiences. Also, it's been fantastic, and fantastically disgusting having my SIL not only as a labor and delivery nurse, but also as a new mom herself as well. Hence the inspiration for this post.

I was thinking last week (or was it two weeks ago) about the whole episiotomy topic. My SIL had explained to me about the degree of tears. I think it's the 4th degree tear which is the worst. I'm pretty sure that's when you tear all the way through that space of skin called the perineum to your a-hole. (I know, my sphincter is clinching just thinking about it.) So basically at that point your open from your vag all the way to your a-hole and they have to stitch you up. I'm sure recovery from that takes forever considering every time you use the bathroom, your a-hole opens back up a bit. (I know, I know, more sphincter clinching.)

So in our conversation SIL casually states that how woman with a short perineum are more likely for the higher degree of tears, whereas woman with a longer perineum have more room to stretch. Taking in all this information....I had to do it. I had to lay on the bed, spread eagle, and asked hubs how long he thought my perineum was and if it looked like there was room to stretch. I KNOW, SO GROSS. I don't know how he will ever look at me the same after this pregnancy but oh well, it's called intimacy right? So anyway, bless his heart has he looked, nodded his head yes, held up is finger and thumb to depict the space and says, "Yeah you're good, looks about two and a half inches." HAHAHA

Love him so much.

Oh, and on other hubby news, I've done something else that might have scarred him for the rest of his life. I made him watch a vaginal delivery on you tube. I was thinking and thinking about it and decided I wanted him to have an idea of what he was in for. I don't know. Good move? Or bad move? What do you think? All I know is I got a pretty good guy here!!


Friday, September 17, 2010

Nursery Update and Shower Aftermath

In the midst of all the birthday fun, there was a baby shower as well. As you might remember me saying earlier, I hate baby showers. However, my shower DID have all the fixin's to make a shower bearable. (And I'm not just saying that because it was mine...ok maybe I am but who cares. lol)

First off I have to thank my awesome cousin who lives in NYC and planned this whole event from there! Here are just a few reason's why I think my shower rocked:

1) She served alcohol!! Hell yes!! I personally hate going to baby shower's where you have to sit there and be SOBER when everyone is ewwing and ahhing. Just because mommy can't drink doesn't mean the rest of the party can't. Huge check on the pro's side for that one!

2)It was catered!! Are you kidding??? I had no idea that I would walk in to a house that had a head chef in the kitchen, white hat and all, and an assistant chef in all black taking everyone's orders and filling up drinks. How incredible. My champagne flute of OJ never went dry.

3) There were only 2 games, and they were sit-down games. No running around for a scavenger hunt, no trying to diaper your doll as fast as you can. There was a nice and easy word scramble and nursery rhyme questionnaire. Prizes were given.

4) Lastly there was this cupcake cake. How perfect! A blue bottle formed out of little cupcakes.

Here are pics as promised of the finalized nursery. We have such wonderful people in our life that gave such generous gifts. Thanks to everyone for help making the nursery come together!

This is the cutest little rocking chair given to B by his Aunt and Uncle!

Finally the closet...We are SO blessed to have family members and friends give us their sons hand-me-downs. We are just so lucky that everyone in our life seems to have had boys!! Our closet is full and our dresser is full with newborn all the way to 12 month clothes. It's almost ridiculous how blessed we feel to have so many supplies. When we found out we were pregnant was the same week that my position at work had been eliminated. We had wanted this baby for so long, and then all of a sudden we felt so insecure about the fact we were pregnant. We've had so many people step up and help us out that I just don't know where we'd be without them.

I wasn't kidding. Every drawer is full. So thankful!