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Monday, September 20, 2010

More (Bleep) They Don't Tell You

There have been many, many times during the whole process of TTC and pregnancy when I've felt the need to go back and re-write every book ever written for health classes or moms-to-be and add in the real sh*t that happens.

It truly has been such a help finding all of your blogs out there and being able to read about other women's experiences. Also, it's been fantastic, and fantastically disgusting having my SIL not only as a labor and delivery nurse, but also as a new mom herself as well. Hence the inspiration for this post.

I was thinking last week (or was it two weeks ago) about the whole episiotomy topic. My SIL had explained to me about the degree of tears. I think it's the 4th degree tear which is the worst. I'm pretty sure that's when you tear all the way through that space of skin called the perineum to your a-hole. (I know, my sphincter is clinching just thinking about it.) So basically at that point your open from your vag all the way to your a-hole and they have to stitch you up. I'm sure recovery from that takes forever considering every time you use the bathroom, your a-hole opens back up a bit. (I know, I know, more sphincter clinching.)

So in our conversation SIL casually states that how woman with a short perineum are more likely for the higher degree of tears, whereas woman with a longer perineum have more room to stretch. Taking in all this information....I had to do it. I had to lay on the bed, spread eagle, and asked hubs how long he thought my perineum was and if it looked like there was room to stretch. I KNOW, SO GROSS. I don't know how he will ever look at me the same after this pregnancy but oh well, it's called intimacy right? So anyway, bless his heart has he looked, nodded his head yes, held up is finger and thumb to depict the space and says, "Yeah you're good, looks about two and a half inches." HAHAHA

Love him so much.

Oh, and on other hubby news, I've done something else that might have scarred him for the rest of his life. I made him watch a vaginal delivery on you tube. I was thinking and thinking about it and decided I wanted him to have an idea of what he was in for. I don't know. Good move? Or bad move? What do you think? All I know is I got a pretty good guy here!!



Ashley said...

OH MY GAWD! This whole post is hysterical!!!! Just know that if your husband can do that for you, he must REALLY love you. :)
You seriously crack me up!

Lindsay said...

hahaha that is awesome. My poor DH sits in the chair and closes his eyes every time they have to give me the vaginal probe (which BTW is ALL the time, ughh). There is NO way I could get him to measure my perineum.

Ashley said...

OMG! You are hilarious!! I could totally see myself asking my hubs to check too though, so I don't blame you. :)

Melissa said...

"I had to lay on the bed, spread eagle, and asked hubs how long he thought my perineum was"

hahahha omg i lubs you! you're hilarious.
yep sounds like you have a REALLY good guy :)

Miss S said...

heheh! This is hilarious! ahh well, he should know what he's in for, right?

Ashley said...

Hey girlie--you've won an award. You can check out my blog for the details. :)


Have a good day!

Holly said...

wow yes great guy you've got there! And I don't blame you for asking him to do either because let's face it, the birth thing is as real as it gets. I am so freaked about the tearing and cutting too but I keep reminding myself that no matter what I go through someone else has been there and survived it so I can too (I hope lol)

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