Why is it that making friends as an adult is , well, just plain awkward?
Today at the pool I was a witness to this cute, simple, frank exchange by two young girls.
Cutie-Pa-Tutie 1-Piece: "Can I play with you?"
Cutie-Pa-Tutie Bikini: "Sure."
Cutie-Pa-Tutie 1-Piece: "What are you playing?"
Cutie-Pa-Tutie Bikini: "Find the water rings."
Cutie-Pa-Tutie 1-Piece: "Ok!"
Cutie-Pa-Tutie Bikini: "Ok!"
This got me thinking. Why can't it be this simple for grown-ups?
"Can I play with you?"
"What are you playing?"
"Keep the kid alive another day while lovingly gossiping about the funny things my husband does and also contemplating if I can eek out another day of not showering because I went to the pool. Wanna play?"
Seriously, why does it seem like there is all this hoop jumping and uncomfortable weirdness about asking another adult if they would like to hang out with you?
I was met with this uncomfortableness today. There was a woman with her two young kids siting the next lounge chairs over. I asked if had taken a chair they were using. She said no, and thus the small talk had begun. However in my head I was bombarded with questions. Do I ask her name first, or her children's names? Do I introduce myself first and then Bradley? Do I tell her I have pcos? Wait, no that didn't cross my mind. Do I shake her hand? Offer a hug? Ask what her favorite color is? WHY IS THIS SO WEIRD?
Well, I asked her name first then her children's. Didn't really matter anyway because I only remembered the kids names, not hers. I'm so bad with names. The only reason I remember her kids names is that they are so over-used, but that's a different subject.
When I was about to leave it only became more awkward. Do I ask for her number or will she think I'm a crazy stalker, or hitting on her? Do I ask if she wants my number? But what if she says no then I'll feel even more horrible. Do I hand her my business card, or is that too formal and she will think I'm pushing my agenda on her? Again, WHY IS THIS SO WEIRD?
I ended up giving her my card because it just seemed like the simplest way to be done with it.
Now, what happens the next time I see her at the pool and she hasn't called me to say "Hey, wanna play?"