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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Weak or Strong?

I don't know what happened. I used to think I was a pretty tough person. I've always been really strong, I can handle pain, I'm not afraid of many things, whenever I've fallen, I've always got right back up, dusted myself off, and got back in the game.
Well let me tell you this whole pregnancy thing has taken me completely out of the game, and left me black and blue on the sidelines, vomiting profusely.
All these symptoms are really playing with my mind. I mean I get so mad at myself like I should be able to get up and feel just fine. It's like after all I've been through (or we've been through talking about anyone struggling with infertility) you'd think we could just fight the yuck feeling.
For example: I've taken needles to the body like a champ for the last year and a half without even a grimace of pain.
I've swallowed pills that alter my mood, body temp, mind, stomach, bowl movements and hormones like they were candy.
I've peed on my hand so many times while trying to pee on a stick and just shrugged it off like it was water.
I've laid through one of the most talked about painful procedures the HSG and told the Doc it was nothing and my pain level was at a 4.
I've had so many things up my Hoo-ha such as metal things, cameras, catheters and yet never lost an ounce of respect for myself.
Now here I am, a slave to my couch and my porcelain thrown, feeling like a complete baby (no pun intended).
This whole experience so far has really taken be back and made me realize there is something so much bigger going on here than me. My body is really not my own anymore. My body is purely here for the reason to bake this little cupcake inside me. It's obvious this baby already has me weak in the knees!! (and in the stomach!)


Kim said...

Oh Tiffany, you poor thing! I hope the MS passes soon for you. It sounds awful. Have you tried anything yet? eating before getting out of bed? Ginger? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I hope you find something that works for you soon. xoxoxoxoxox

Holly said...

I'm so sorry you are feeling so sick! I hope this stage of the pregnancy passes quickly for you and you can get to that magical glowing stage everyone talks about :)

Shanny said...

Now this my friend is THE question.... I wish I could answer it too, ah well! I do hope you start feeling better very very soon, hugs!

Waiting Lisa said...

I hope you move past this part of the pregnancy soon! *Hugs*

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