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Monday, January 11, 2010

NOBODY PLAYS FAIR!

Now, before I get any further in this posts I would like to remind you that I am not the kind of person that thinks everything should be fair. Heck, I don't even like to keep that word in my vocabulary. I grew up in a household where I knew the world isn't fair. For example if I had a friend allowed to do something that I was not allowed to do, I was never able to pout and say "that's not fair." It's just life.

However, may I vent now..."THIS IS NOT FAIR!" It is so easy, natural actually, to begin to feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to whine about it. I mean, obviously it is not fair when you have to be put through the ringer, (test after test after test) just to see if you're "allowed" to get pregnant or they'll "let you" get pregnant. Then you hear of a friend, of a friend, of a friend who got pregnant just because her spouse looked at her during the moment she was ovulating. (How lucky you think, this only happens in the blissful world of the fertiles.)

It is so true though. It takes a while to truly get over the fact that you have to "ask a Dr.'s permission" and "pay for" something to happen that you feel is your God given right as a woman. Then, before they help you must be tested. They need to test your blood for disease, your liver function to make sure you can handle the meds, your dh's sperm, your pee, your bank account, your glucose tolerance, your hormones, your finger prints, and Great Aunt Gertrude's stool sample just in case.

You must rise above and realize that although "un-fair" this is the path chosen for you. I do realize that this is our journey, our path, and we will get through it together. Tomorrow is my HSG that I am just now beginning get nervous about. I am not nervous about the result as I know in my head already that it will be worst case scenario and my tubes are blocked. (This is another amazing ability of an infertile. You can actually diagnose yourself before the test even takes place.) I am nervous about the pain. Any advice out there?

Tiffany

2 comments:

Vanessa said...

Hope the HSG goes okay. Personally I believe in a ton of ibubrofen prior. I almost passed out the first time I had one. However, you might have better pain thresholds than I do. Sorry to hear you are on the infertile path now...

Rebecca Watson said...

I have quite a high pain tolerance. I found it quite painful. The doc/radiologist said that he was having to push quite alot through. On a scale of one to ten it was about a 7. It felt like horrendous period pains. I would really recommend not having anything planned for afterward. Just go to bed and go to sleep. good luck.