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Friday, January 8, 2010

The Power of Pills

The next obvious question is, "How do you get pregnant when you're not having a period?" The answer, "Take a pill." Perfect. Not to be confused with a chill-pill which we all know you are unable to take during infertility.
10 days of Provera and wah-la there she is, AF. (Yes that stands for Aunt Flo, and yes I'm still calling it that.) But wait, 10 days? In a normal cycle you have 12-13 chances a year to get pregnant. (Here is where I start to do math.) If you add 10 days to each cycle that drops your chances down to like only 9 chances a year. That's some BS!
In any case it works so there I am 26 starting my first round of chlomid. A typical cycle is day 1, you announce to everyone that it is the first day of your period. i.e. you ask your DH to get you a tampon because of course it comes when you're on your downstairs toilet, you make that humiliating call to your RE that AF is here and she needs to call in your Rx, you call your friend to tell her how bad the cramps are now that you're off the pill, and you decide to tell your neighbor it's day 1 just for good measure. Anyways, day three your chlomid starts, day 7 it ends, days 10-20 you do it every other day, then you wait.........AF. Ahhh!
In the fertility world there are many labels they put on you. In fact, when the clerk asks you for your initials you accidentally say TTC. However most have negative connotations. For example if you do not conceive while doing a round of chlomid, you are in fact what they call, a "Chlomid Faliure." Beautiful. Because taking chlomid has now actually jump started my periods on their own (no more provera) my girlfriend likes to call me a "Menstrual Success" rather than a chlomid failure. Gotta love those positive friends!
I am currently on my third round of chlomid treatment and my RE uped my dosage. I will be going in on Tuesday for my HSG. At that point I will find out what problems my college problem has left me with. In a HSG you get die put up in your uterus and they then take an x-ray of your fallopian tubes. At that point they will see if there is any scarring or blockage that would prevent the egg dropping down, or scarier yet would cause an ectopic pregnancy. At that point we will be left with two choices: 1) tubes are not blocked = IUI. 2) tubes are blocked = IVF (plus a second mortgage on our house). Wish me luck.
In the meantime I'm still finding ways to laugh. The other day my DH asked if it was appropriate to bill Butthead for the HSG expense. I thought absolutely. Gotta love a DH with a sense of humor.

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