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Friday, June 4, 2010

A Baby Shower: Infertile Style

Hello all. The inspiration for this post came to me for two reasons: 1) I feel like my blog has lost it's comedic touch and I've gone all sappy (must be the hormones) and : 2) My cousin has planned to throw my baby shower so it got me thinking.
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Honestly, I hate baby showers. Even though I'm pregnant, I still hate them. I don't know what it is about them that I hate so badly....maybe it's the fact that if you don't verbally "oooooh" and "aaaahhh" people look at you funny. Maybe it's the fact that when I'm a guest at them and they don't serve alcohol just because the mom-to-be can't drink I get soberly annoyed. But maybe the fact that I hate them so badly is all the corny, goofy, totally tmi inappropriate games that are played.
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I'm sure we've all been to parties where you've had to play the "guess how big my belly is with a string" game, or the "eat melted chocolate out of a diaper as fast as you can" game, or the most inappropriate, "guess the date they conceived" game. Ew. No thank you. Next are you going to make me guess what position they used?
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So this got me thinking of some games a "Once Infertile" mom-to-be could have played at her shower. Please, feel free to laugh hysterically and play your own version of these games at your shower!
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NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY...
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***Guess how many times Mommy and Daddy had unprotected sex WITHOUT conceiving
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***Guess how many times Mommy's RE has put something in Mommy's vagina
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***Guess how much money, without going over, Mommy and Daddy have spent on TTC
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***Guess, to the closest whole number, Daddy's sperm count. Both washed and unwashed.
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***On the piece of paper in front of you, write down as many fertility drugs as you can name
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***Finally, everyone pull a used OPK out of this bag, whoever has the darkest line wins!
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WINNERS OF THESE GAMES GET MOMMY'S LEFT OVER SUPPLY OF METFORMIN, OLD SYRINGES, AND USED BFN PREGNANCY TESTS!
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Happy Partyin!
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Tiffany

4 comments:

Roxanne said...

Love this!! I totally feel the same way about baby showers. I don't "perform" under pressure very well, and I am not all OHHH and AHH either!! Don't get me wrong I am grateful when people buy me gifts, but I could do without all the cheesy routines :)

Lindsay Logic said...

It's better if you have it open-house style. Much more fun, and people can leave when they want! (Which probably makes them stay longer, if we're honest) :)

I loved this list- you're hilarious!

Ashley said...

Haha! Great list!

Anonymous said...

I've been following you since about a month before your BFP...and lemme say, this post is funny!!

Love the used OPK (darkest line) game. LOL

-CP