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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Hanging In There


Hello friends. First off I know every one's reaction out there. "Who holds there kid like that? Who puts a do-rag on their kid? Who pawns pictures of their kid out on the internet? These people can be parents and I can't?" I know, I know, that was my initial reaction as well, nonetheless it's cute.
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This picture depicts how I feel. Just hanging around, waiting for an answer. The 2ww never gets any easier even if you've had 752 months to practice it. I fight with myself everyday, especially now that I'm within 6 days of AF. Every time I have to pee I go for the stick...then lightning strikes and I back away. I know, it's amazing, I've been struck 18 times already. It's a constant battle and every piss/wipe/flush completed without a stick is a success for me. Baby steps. (Aww DAMN, did I have to say the word baby?)
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During the wait I also think, A LOT, as you already have noticed. Today I sat down to write this entry and I stopped. I realized, I have nothing else witty to say, nothing clever, nothing funny...I have finally reached the BLAH point in my infertility....oh no my life is over!
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As you can see, at least I'm still in the mellow-dramatic stage of infertility. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there will be some more funny moments down the road to share. For example the time after my lovely vagina wand experience and hubs looked over and told me, "Your putting your underwear on inside out!" Which I wasn't, "Um no, thanks honey for your help, but I have been dressing myself for 27 years now."
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Or there's the funny fact that the SAME pharmacist always checks me out and reminds me every time that, "Clomid IS NOT covered on your insurance, are you sure you wish to proceed?" "Wait Ma'am No! $15 is just too much to spend to start a family, stop all proceedings!"
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Well that's enough ramblings for today. I'm off to go stare at the pregnancy test box again for another ten minutes until I decide to pee on the toilet without using it. Later!
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Tiffany

5 comments:

Shanny said...

Your self control is to be admired beyond reason! I have none. But good for you. Even if you are driving yourself crazy in the process =)

Let the mellow-drama continue.... but while that's going on and you are staring at the pregnancy test box, again, threaten it to give you what you want or else....

I'm praying this is it for you girl, GL!

Ashley said...

Silly clueless pharmacy lady! Good luck continuing to win the battle over the pee sticks. :)

Holly said...

wow your self control is an inspiration. I am getting all pee sticks out of my house before the 2ww so that I am not tempted because I KNOW I will be. I am hoping and praying that this is it for you!

Simply Stacie said...

Following you from the Friday Follow!

http://stacievaughansblog.blogspot.com/

Amanda T said...

Hey there Im a new follower from Friday Follow! Hope to see you around my blog sometime! :)